"The Volunteers"

November 26, 2012

It's snowing in Moscow!! Yippee!

This entire journey has had so many twists and turns and one of the great privileges has been getting to know the team of women who have worked on Kyla's behalf here in Russia to help bring her home. Friends and acquaintances have asked us more than once if we have ever felt "frustrated by corruption" during the adoption process or if "the whole thing is just a big racket?" Well we can answer with great confidence that the women who have worked so hard to help bring this adoption dream to fruition have done it with a deep seated passion that comes from a love for the orphan and with a genuine desire to see children in families, not merely facilities.

One of these women is Marina who lives here in Moscow. Marina is a true babushka (Russian for grandmother). She has a daughter and grandchildren of her own who live here in Moscow as well. She also has a master degree in English, a master degree in patent law and she happens to be an expert in Russian history as well as in opera. This woman is no dummy. She can move mountains in this city and she has chosen to advocate for orphans. She has personally overseen the adoption of over 140 children since the early 1990's. When she first met up with us in the airport here in Moscow she hustled and bustled us through to the train station with the prowess of a wizened expert. She moved so quickly, all the while insisting on taking one of our larger suitcases, that I finally said to her (with a smile), "Marina, slow down, you are a babushka you know." She looked at me with a sparkle in her eye and said, "Ah yes, but I am a RUSSIAN babushka... Now hurry along or we will miss our train."

As we scurried through the airport we made our personal introductions and discussed the basic details about how the adoption process had gone up to this point. Just as we were turning the corner around a smoke filled corner coffee shop she cryptically questioned me about "the Volunteers". Although I was never able to get the full picture of what she was referring to I thought the mystery of our dialogue was worth mention. The conversation went something like this (as best as I can remember it):

Marina: "So, did you get a chance to meet The Volunteers at Kyla's baby house? I hope they didn't cause you any trouble."

Me: "What Volunteers? You mean the workers?"

M: "Ummm, no. The Volunteers...they have been extremely concerned with Angelica (Kyla) in particular for quite some time. You didn't meet them?"

Me: "I'm sorry, Marina, but I have no idea what you are talking about. Who are The Volunteers and why were they concerned about Angelica?"

M: "Oh never mind then. I thought you had maybe encountered them. It is no big deal. Don't think of it anymore."

Me: (pause for a moment, partly to catch my breath as we continued to hurry on) "Marina, I'm still curious... Who are The Volunteers and why were they concerned?"

M: "Oh, don't worry yourself about it. Sometimes they can just meddle too much and I wanted to know that they hadn't caused you a problem. There are many of them-both here in Moscow and also in Vladivostok. They were very concerned about Angelica in particular, The Volunteers both here and there that is. They were worried that she may not find a family and they were asking and praying that she would have a family come to her. I hope they didn't cause you a problem."

Me: "Let me get this straight. These 'Volunteers'-- they have been praying for Angelica? Are they nuns or something like that?"

M: "Yes, that is correct. They have been very concerned with her for a long time and they are even now asking how she is doing. They are very thankful that you have come.... Anyhow, hurry on. We mustn't miss the train, it is cold."

 

And that was it. No more details. No more answers.

What I don't know is who The Volunteers are, how many there are or for how long they have prayed.

What I do know is that they have prayed... Prayed for my baby girl before I had ever laid eyes on her or likely had ever even known of her name.

Thank you, Volunteers.

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

 

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Planes, Trains, Automobiles... And a Roller Coaster.

 

November 22, 2012

Here we are. Awake in the early morning hours listening to the city wake up (although it never really went to sleep from the sounds of it).

What a change of worlds, not only for us but especially for Kyla! We have travelled from Vladivostok: a small industrial city that feels about 30 years back in time to Moscow: the NYC of this massive nation. From no English, no Starbucks, and very little western influence at all to "lights-camera-action, it's Saturday night in Red Square!

Kyla, our sweet carsick baby, spent 6 hours in and out of a car on Wednesday as we drove all over creation in Vlad to get her medical exams done, Russian passport issued, notary signatures made, orphanage donations given, custody worker papers delivered and who knows what else done. Then, on Thursday, she hopped aboard an airplane for the first time in her life (which also moves, hence the sweating and vomit rerun) and proceeded to fly for 9 hours across her motherland. Other than the monumental blow-out that she experienced during the plane flight and the sheer TERROR over the airplane toilet, she actually did amazingly well. Once we arrived in Moscow we boarded a train...you got it--another moving vehicle :(....and made our way to the city center where we got in a taxi and jolted forward and backward through the night lights on our way to the hotel. Finally we stepped out of the taxi and into the historic Hotel Savoy-just 1.5 blocks from the Kremlin. 8:30 pm Moscow time, 3:30 am Vladivostok time. Lord, help our baby to be resilient, and help us to be some sort of anchor for her in the storm.

Well, she slept through the night and se did we. Whew! At breakfast she ate the most we have seen her eat so far. Much to our surprise her appetite has been very meager up to this point. Finally I think it caught up with her. As we walked into the gilded, Baroque style dining room (breakfast is included with the room-whoopee!) her eyes opened widely at the array of food options. We went through the buffet letting her chose what she wanted to try. The child loves fruit, eggs and coffee... Yes, coffee! She'll have nothing to do with dairy of any sort. Humph! Watching her finally eat makes this mama's heart soar.

So... How's the whole thing gone so far? Has it been all roses? No, definitely not. If bodily fluids (pee, vomit....among others) are any initiation into the parental club then we quickly became inducted members. If boundary setting and murky parenting waters are part of the gig... well, we're there. Has it been hard? Yes. Are we freaked out? Thankfully, no. There have been moments of pure joy, moments when Kyla will call out for us, nuzzle into us and clearly feel some kind of security in us. There have also been moments of intense trial. There was one "meltdown" in particular during which we could only act to hold her (much against her own will at the time), rock her, and whisper over and over that we love her, we will not leave her no matter how much she tries to push us away, and that we are here to stay. Exhausting, yes. Doubt instilling, no. To finally feel her little body melt and to have her rest her head on our shoulders says more loudly than any words, "okay, you must mean it." Yes, baby, we do. This roller coaster ride we are on clearly has moments when we squeeze our eyes shut tightly and hold on for dear life thinking "why on earth did we ever get on this crazy thing" and yet, almost immediately after, we find ourselves throwing our arms up in the air and laughing, ALL TOGETHER, in pure delight. Is it easy all the time? Heck no. Is it worth the risks? Definitely! Are we glad we took the ticket from The Conductor when we He handed it to us... ABSOLUTELY!!!!

So here I am, back in the room. Thick, puddling, tapestry curtains drawn, lights off and Kyla is finally napping. We have a couple of free days today and over the weekend to explore this amazing city since our trip happened to correspond with the Thanksgiving holiday and the Embassy is closed. Other than fiercely missing our kids at home we must admit we are not too sad about being forced to explore Moscow. Neil is out for a run at the moment...racing around Red Square. Perhaps he has a familiar Beatles ditty playing on his playlist.... "Back... back in the USSR, you don't know how lucky you are...". I would if I were him. Most certainly he has his black beanie cap on. He says he started a trend here since all the other young male Muscovites wear them. That's right, babe. You just keep thinking that.

I love my husband. I love ALL my kiddos. I love my life.....

 

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Pictures from Lullaby

Having blog difficulties...sorry!

 

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Lullaby For Our Daughter

November trip

 

November 19th, 2012

 

Well, we made it back. It is funny how a place so foreign can start to feel like home. The old adage "home is where the heart is" rings true as a large part of our hearts are being left behind every time we have to say goodbye again to our baby here.

 

Come tomorrow we will never have to say goodbye to her and walk out that door again. Tomorrow she comes with us.

 

It's good to be back.

 

We arrived to see the familiar landscape transformed yet again. This time snow blankets everything and it is falling in big, thick, fast flakes. The Russians are bundled up in their dark coats and with their large ear-flap hats. I look at Neil and we realize right away that we didn't pack as well as we should have... Oops!

 

So as we sit in our Vlad Motor Inn room tonight we are eerily quiet, the mood matching the silent snow outside. Both of us are thinking about tomorrow. How is it going to go? How will she respond? We will enter her "home" the same way as all the other times yet this time is so different. This time we will change her clothes into something that is, for the first time, HERS. The old clothes will be shed and left behind, for they were never really hers to begin with. We will carry her down that familiar hallway, past all that she has ever known, yet this time it will be for the last time. Will she mourn? Will she fight? Will she understand at all? The door will open and the world will be hers. We will pass through those tall, metal gates and she will step into a car for the first time. I pray that her fear is replaced by a supernatural peace.

 

So many thoughts tonight, so many ways that we are silently imagining what tomorrow will bring. Amazing to me that we know so clearly what is coming tomorrow in this dear child's life yet she doesn't have a clue. All she knows is that she is going to sleep tonight in the location that has been designated to her in the room of many beds yet it will be for the last time. She will never sleep in that bed again. She will get up and eat the same porridge that she has eaten for the last 3 years yet only a couple of hours later those bowls and spoons will never be seen again. We know all of this. She knows nothing of it.

 

What a beautiful picture of our own lives. Though we know so little of what is actually to come for us tomorrow (or any other day) our Heavenly Father knows every detail and He will be there beside us every step of the way. We are His and He is ours. Nothing takes Him by surprise.

 

So as we fall asleep, thinking we know what is to come, I rest assured in the fact that, in reality, I know so little yet I am in the arms of the One who created tomorrow, the One who knew about it before the dawn of time and the One for whom nothing is a surprise.

 

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.". Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

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November 20, 2012

 

Dear Daughter,

"Hush little baby don't say a word....."

As you lay here next to me, sleeping without a peep, I wonder if I am the one actually dreaming. Today was the day I have been imagining, anticipating for so many months. It has come and gone and here we are.




"Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird..."

That's right, you do have a Mama now...and a Papa. And two brothers and a sister, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. They are all waiting to meet you. We have prayed for you, waited for you, named you, prepared for you.




"And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring..."

Remember the bird that sang above us as we walked down to the beach today, the one that mesmerized you. He sang out as if to say, "Congratulations Kyla, you are a daughter now. Enjoy the ride, look around, be at peace. This is not simply a momentary dream--this is now your life. You have been given freedom. And your family has been given you." Watching you watch the waves quietly lap against the shore for the first time made me thankful that although we have missed many firsts in your life there are still many more that are to come. Rather than regret what has been we chose to revel in what will be as we watch our story unfold together.




"And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass..."

As you grow, both in stature and in awareness, I pray that you will know that you are deeply beautiful. I pray that your looking glass would be that of the Creator who made you and not that of the world around you. For you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God does not make mistakes and He smiled when He made you. "It is good", He said. You are good.

"And if that looking glass gets broke..."

And when you do forget that His looking glass is all that matters then I pray that you would run to us, your Mama and Papa, and that we could remind you that you were set free. You were chosen. Today is your freedom day.

"For He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners....to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." (Is 61:1-3)

For not only were you set free from your life as you know it now, you have been set free as we too have been set free. Free in knowing that you are unconditionally loved. Not merely accepted but ADOPTED. Adopted not only by us but adopted by the One who paid your ransom by making His own Son an orphan for your sake, an outcast in the looking glass of the world He made. So that when He looks at you He will see you as flawless, beautiful, His child... not by what you have done but by what He did for you. You are a reflection of His splendor. I pray that you don't forget this.

"So hush little baby, don't you cry. Daddy loves you and so do I."

What a day. Your joy, your giggles, your first bath, your first car ride (and car sickness... ugh). We will never forget this day. People tell us that you are so fortunate to be coming into our family, and we hope that is true... but I can tell you, with no hesitation, that we are the ones who have been truly blessed.

We love you, Kyla Angelica Gamblin.

Love, Mommy and Daddy.

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Sweet Home Vladivostok

November 19th, 2012

 

Well, we made it back. It is funny how a place so foreign can start to feel like home. The old adage "home is where the heart is" rings true as a large part of our hearts are being left behind every time we have to say goodbye again to our baby here.

Come tomorrow we will never have to say goodbye to her and walk out that door again. Tomorrow she comes with us.

It's good to be back.

We arrived to see the familiar landscape transformed yet again. This time snow blankets everything and it is falling in big, thick, fast flakes. The Russians are bundled up in their dark coats and with their large ear-flap hats. I look at Neil and we realize right away that we didn't pack as well as we should have... Oops!

So as we sit in our Vlad Motor Inn room tonight we are eerily quiet, the mood matching the silent snow outside. Both of us are thinking about tomorrow. How is it going to go? How will she respond? We will enter her "home" the same way as all the other times yet this time is so different. This time we will change her clothes into something that is, for the first time, HERS. The old clothes will be shed and left behind, for they were never really hers to begin with. We will carry her down that familiar hallway, past all that she has ever known, yet this time it will be for the last time. Will she mourn? Will she fight? Will she understand at all? The door will open and the world will be hers. We will pass through those tall, metal gates and she will step into a car for the first time. I pray that her fear is replaced by a supernatural peace.

So many thoughts tonight, so many ways that we are silently imagining what tomorrow will bring. Amazing to me that we know so clearly what is coming tomorrow in this dear child's life yet she doesn't have a clue. All she knows is that she is going to sleep tonight in the location that has been designated to her in the room of many beds yet it will be for the last time. She will never sleep in that bed again. She will get up and eat the same porridge that she has eaten for the last 3 years yet only a couple of hours later those bowls and spoons will never be seen again. We know all of this. She knows nothing of it.

What a beautiful picture of our own lives. Though we know so little of what is actually to come for us tomorrow (or any other day) our Heavenly Father knows every detail and He will be there beside us every step of the way. We are His and He is ours. Nothing takes Him by surprise.

So as we fall asleep, thinking we know what is to come, I rest assured in the fact that, in reality, I know so little yet I am in the arms of the One who created tomorrow, the One who knew about it before the dawn of time and the One for whom nothing is a surprise.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.". Jeremiah 29:11

 

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